Relationships Matter:
My first-year teaching in a self-contained special education English classroom began with structure and optimism. Lessons were thoroughly planned, materials prepared, and successful instructional routines carried over from prior teaching experiences. The goal was clear: promote meaningful academic growth through consistency and evidence-based practices.
Then came a student—referred to here as John—who challenged those expectations.
Early behaviors included refusing to follow directions, completing minimal work, and watching videos during instruction. The moments soon escalated into verbal outbursts, disruptions during group tasks, and open defiance. Suggestions from colleagues focused on formal write-ups, disciplinary documentation, and potential referral to an alternative setting. This path mirrored the one John had already experienced.
Rather than follow a path of exclusion, the situation required a pause—a deeper question: What is this behavior communicating?
According to Gregory and Fergus (2017), defiant behavior often signals underlying inequities and unmet emotional needs. A change in approach was necessary. What followed was the intentional act of building trust. Small steps began with casual conversations about the Kansas City Chiefs, shows like Cobra Kai, and shared music interests. Over time, those informal exchanges became bridges to something deeper. The student revealed experiences of family instability, food insecurity, and an older sibling cycling in and out of incarceration. In that context, English assignments understandably took a back seat.
As relational trust increased, resistance decreased. While not without setbacks, the student began to participate more consistently and take ownership of his progress.
Research supports this dynamic. Roorda et al. (2011) emphasize that affective teacher-student relationships are essential for improving student engagement and academic outcomes. In environments where students experience chronic stress or marginalization, trust is not optional—it is foundational.
Two years later, the same student was placed in my classroom to complete his high school credential. With support from a career specialist, he participated in a hospitality internship and secured full-time summer employment. Just before graduation, his mother called in tears—thanking staff for helping her son become the first in their family to graduate.
Relationships are not a strategy reserved for certain students— they are the foundation for all students.
Educators are trained to write IEPs, plan instruction, and measure growth. However, no instructional framework can replace the transformative impact of being present, being patient, and being consistent. As Hammond (2015) asserts, culturally responsive teaching begins with emotional safety and connection—especially for students who carry more than academic burdens into the classroom.
